Exchange Program 3: Graduation
by GoesKaboom
Summary: When the class valedictorian of A. High School is held hostage along with the diplomas for graduation, it's up to the ninjas to save the day. Again. COMPLETED
1. Chapter 1

Exchange Program 3: Graduation

Note: Don't own. Now someone get those lawyers off my lawn!

Please read the other two Exchange Program stories before continuing.

Aaah, spring. The time when Tobi's fancy turns lightly to thoughts of love. Mainly, love of Deidara. He was just sitting down to try to think of new and interesting ways to get his beloved Sempai to notice him when his cell phone went of.

"Hello?" he said cheerily, hoping it was Deidara. Instead, he got this frantic cry for help.

"Help me please!" a voice begged. "I've been kidnapped! I'm from _A. High School! _And they got the diplomas too!" Then Tobi heard an enraged voice shout,

"What the hell are you doing? You- smash the goddamn phone! You- kick this bastard's brains out!" and with that, the line went dead.

"Get everyone together! We're going back to school!" he yelled, charging into the living room.

"Shut the hell up, Tobi," Hidan yelled. "We're watching TV!"

"But that school is in trouble again!"

"Call Konoha and Suna. I guess we're going back to school."

--

* * *

"Welcome back," Student Y said politely, ushering in the usual ninja crowd. "I just don't know how you always know when there's trouble here." 

"This time it was Tobi's cell phone that picked up the call," Itachi explained. Y smiled thinly.

"Well, this time it's a lot more serious than some simple food poisoning or power-crazed psychopaths with a grudge on the rampage," she said.

"What could be more serious than a power-crazed psychopath with a grudge on the rampage?" Shikamaru asked. Temari shushed him.

"Someone kidnapped our class valedictorian, Student 2400," Student Z replied. "Unfortunately, she also had the diplomas with her. Unless these criminals are apprehended, no one can graduate!"

"Can't you just make more diplomas?" Deidara asked. Student X shook his head.

"It's not that simple. In our district, the diplomas have to be approved by the superintendent, the principal, and each one of the graduating student's teachers. However, the superintendent issued a statement saying that he was not approving any more diplomas this year."

"Geh… another year of school! I may as well just taser myself," Student Y sighed.

"How outrageous!" Lee screamed. "Graduation is a time where youthful students will be youthful, and someone has stolen that youthfulness! I will not allow it!"

"Well, let's get to work then," Student Y smirked. "I remember I used to force 2400 to do my homework back in seventh grade. She always did it without complaining… I never forgot that, and now I'm going to repay her! Let's kick some ass!"  
"Yeah!" everyone yelled as they moved out.

To Be Continued!

Omake- Author's Comments

Holy shiznit is that a 3 in the title? I never thought it would make it this far… thank you to everyone who supported the first two Exchange Programs. I have some really interesting things planned for this one... hope you all enjoy:D

-GoesKaboom


	2. Chapter 2

Exchange Program 3: Graduation

Chapter Two

"You'll never get away with this," Student 2400 said, fighting against her captors. "Why did you steal the diplomas? It just doesn't make sense!"

"I'll tell you why," a voice laughed. "We're dropouts, forced to drop out after our leader was killed. Since we can't graduate, NO ONE will graduate!" the masked person laughed maniacally. "And since we have everyone's diplomas, we can pretend that we graduated high school and get halfway decent jobs! No more mopping floors at Wal-Mart!"

"You mean… you worked with Student B?" Student 2400 asked in horror. The masked person looked sideways at her.

"Did I work with her? I did more than just work with her. I was her number-one flunky! Student O!"

* * *

"TOBI!!!" Deidara roared. "What the hell are you doing in that bed-un!" 

"Isn't it obvious?" Tobi replied seductively. "This is the third time we've been to _A. High School,_ and I think it's high time that we actually got somewhere in our relationship!"

"Tobi-" Deidara began.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"We never had a relationship."

"Then maybe we could start one!" Tobi replied.

"Uh… Tobi?" Gaara said. "I wish you happiness and luck, but you do realize that you're in the middle of the hallway? And that's not Deidara's bed?"

"Tobi, do you care to explain what you're doing in my bed?" Neji asked. Tobi jumped up.

"Wait- this is YOUR bed?"

"Yeah, and I'd kind of like to know why it's out of the room… I want to take a nap." Neji said, the Look of Doom appearing on his face.

"Will you stop screwing around?" Student X screeched. "This is serious! I have a full scholarship to _Really Expensive University _and I want to take advantage of it! And Student Y, who might not otherwise be able to GO to college, she has a scholarship to _Not Cheap University!_ Since she got disowned, college has been something that she REALLY wants to do! Do you want to see her have to go to_ Lucky's Beauty School?"_

"Yeah!" Z added. "Tobi, you really need to get out of Neji's bed. And we all need to band together to save our diplomas and Student 2400!"

"Fine," Tobi grumbled, but not before telling Deidara, "I'll see you tonight, sexy."

"Yeesh…" Deidara shuddered.

* * *

Student Y sighed. "Three days and not a single clue as to where they are…" 

"Y, are you in here?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah."

"Have some ramen," he said. "And listen to me. Kankuro thinks he knows where 2400 is being kept," he said. "The diplomas might not be with her, but he thinks if we can get her back, then we've won half the battle."

"Really?" Y asked.

"Yeah. He thinks she's at the Big Box Storage Company's abandoned warehouse," Naruto replied.

"Thank you very much!" she exclaimed. "Get everyone together. We're going to that warehouse!"

To Be Continued!

Omake- Author's Comments

That Tobi never gives up, yeah? Thanks for reading!

Edit- This chapter had some really major mistakes that I wouldn't have caught if it wasn't for **Lady Lilliana**. Thank you so much!

-GoesKaboom


	3. Chapter 3

Exchange Program 3: Graduation

Chapter Three

"Big Box Storage Company?" Student Z said. "No one has gone anywhere near there for years!"

"Exactly! It's the perfect place to hide a hostage, as well as stolen diplomas," Naruto explained. "It seems like the kidnappers would use that place, since no one would normally go there!"

"It does make some sense," Itachi added. "Kisame, remember when we went to Iwagakure for that mission two years ago?"

"Oh yeah! And we kept that guy in the abandoned post office?" Kisame replied.

"Yeah. Maybe they are thinking like we did."

"What happened to the Hummer limo?" Tenten asked.

"Oh… that… well… it kind of got stolen," Student X answered. "But we still have the lawn mowers."

* * *

"Heh heh…" Student O chuckled. "Those idiots think we're hiding out in the Big Box warehouse? How stupid."

"They will find you," Student 2400 said. "They will find you, defeat you, get the diplomas back, and free me. You'll never get away with this."

"Oh, shut up. That was the cheesiest line I've heard in years," O replied. "What, do you watch lame cop movies to get your lines?"

"If you must know, yes," came the response.

* * *

On the highway, our heroes were getting a lot of strange looks.

"Look, Myra, it's a lawn mower army!" an old man said to his wife.

"Hey mommy, it's the Lawn Squad!" a little boy told his mother. A school bus almost crashed because everyone (including the driver) was staring at the weird sight.

"Well, here we are," Student X said as they pulled up in front of a deserted, boarded up warehouse.

"I hate to break it to all of you, but this place hasn't been touched in forty years," Ino scoffed. Neji and Hinata activated their Byakugan.

"I don't see anything inside," Hinata muttered.

"Ino's right. This place is totally deserted," Neji added. "Y- you don't need to break down the door!" he shouted, upon seeing Student Y and Deidara setting up explosives.

"Damn," Y whispered.

"It's OK. We'll blow up the next place-un," Deidara whispered back.

"Well, this was a total waste of time," Sasuke said. "That's an hour of my life that I'll never get back."

"Little brother, at the rate you're going, you have about ten minutes of life left. I might kill you if you piss me off any more," Itachi warned. "We had no way of knowing that they weren't really here."

* * *

Student O cackled. "It's time to switch hideouts! Everyone, pack it up! We're moving to the Big Box warehouse tomorrow evening. Now that they've checked there, they won't check again!"

To Be Continued!


	4. Chapter 4

Exchange Program 3: Graduation

Chapter Four

"Well, that was a complete bust," Gaara said. "No diplomas and no kidnappers! Was there a point to that?"

"We had no way of knowing for sure," Student X said calmly. "For all we know, whoever is behind this could be out of the country by now."

"I think it's time," Student Y intoned. "I hoped it would never come to this, but we're going to have to go THERE."

"You mean-?!" Z's eyes widened in shock. Y nodded.

"I'm not sure what's going on," Tenten said.

"We're going to have to visit Student B's family," Y explained. "This is something I really did not want to have to do. I will never forgive them."

"Why? What did they do?" Sasuke asked. Itachi whacked him upside the head.

"Watch it. If Student Y wants to tell us why she doesn't want to forgive them, she'll tell us! Now shut up and stop being an insensitive bastard!" he said.

"Thank you, Itachi," Student Y said. "Everyone just come on. It will all become clear later. We just need to get there."

--

"Wow! What a big house!" Tobi exclaimed. "I look forward to living in a house like this with my beloved Deidara-sempai!"

"You can live in this big-ass house by yourself!" Deidara shouted.

"I didn't know Student B was this rich," Kakuzu noted. "I wonder just how rich they are…"

"Everyone behave yourselves," Student X instructed. "Employees G and 12345 are not the most accommodating people ever."

"Employees G and 12345?" Ino asked.

"Student B's parents," came the reply. Y rang the bell, and the door opened. A harsh-faced woman appeared at the door.

"Y," she stated coldly.

"Employee 12345," Y responded, equally coldly.

"Well, come in, if you must," Employee 12345 said. "What do you need."

"I want to know… did B leave any records of her plans?" Student Y asked bluntly. Student B's mother looked disgusted.

"You horrible bitch! You bring your freaky friends to our house only so you can keep up this crap about my late daughter being an evil mastermind! It's because of you that she's dead!"

"Now hold up here," Tobi interrupted. "Student Y never did any of that! Student B died because she was a stupid double-crossing liar and her time had come! Student B lied flat-out to my face and tried to give Deidara-sempai away like a stuffed animal at a fair!"

"Yeah, and you were the one who tried to "win" me," Deidara muttered.

"She treated her subordinates like trash!" Tobi added, his voice becoming more strident with every passing second. "It didn't matter whether you were on her side or not, if you got in her way, she'd dispose of you in cold blood! Itachi-san is positively cuddly compared to her!"

"Just for the record, I'm NOT cuddly," Itachi added. Employee 12345 just looked at him.

"And who might you be?" she asked, icicles practically dripping from her words. Tobi just stared at her.

"My name is Tobi."

To Be Continued!

Omake- Author's Comments

I apologize for the long wait between chapters, but school has been INSANE. Damn you history class! (runs around screaming like a maniac.) Sorry.

-GoesKaboom


	5. Chapter 5

Exchange Program 3: Graduation

Chapter Five

Employee 12345 looked at Tobi coldly. "Well, Mr. Tobi, you seem to think you understand everything."

"No, I never said anything like that," he replied, equally coldly. "I am just saying that she was not the perfect angel you think she was."

"Just shut up!" 12345 screamed. "Our family has had so much shame brought on us by B that it disgusts me! Do you think we really didn't know what our daughter was doing? Do you think we are stupid? Student B had been like this since she was very young, but we thought that she would bring fame to our family. We encouraged her, only to have her killed by Student Y! Did you know that that girl-"  
"Stop there," Y said, her voice uncharacteristically frigid. "That is none of your concern."

"You mean you haven't even told your 'friends' what you've done?" Employee 12345's voice was gleeful. Turning to the crowd of assembled ninja, she proclaimed, "Student Y hacked into computers and edited the student records of everyone she disliked. Oh, and she was arrested for stealing lawn mowers. Her parents were quite right to disown her! So what do you think of that?"

"So?" Naruto said.

"We could use a hacker in the Akatsuki," Itachi said.

"Yeah," Zetsu agreed.

"That's nothing compared to what I did back in the Academy," Hinata said.

"Wait- that was YOU?" Shikamaru asked. She nodded shyly.

"But that's not all!" Employee 12345 laughed. "My husband owns a car dealership and Student Y blew it up in a blind rage! We would have been ruined if it hadn't been for my daughter's quick thinking! B started her evil exploits to bring money back to the family!"

"All right Y!" Deidara shouted. "Explosives buddy-un!"

"You all disgust me," Employee 12345 said. "Get out of my house or I will call my husband."

"Bring it," Hidan said. "I haven't done my daily sacrifice today."

"We got what we came for," muttered Student Y. "Employee 12345, I thank you for all of your help," she said formally. "I wish to see you again soon."

"Well, the feeling isn't mutual!" 12345 shouted. "Now get the hell out of here." Everyone walked to the door.

"Did you really get everything you needed?" Sasuke asked. Student Y shook her head.

"I know when the fight is over with that woman." However, as they walked down the path, a small figure darted out in front of them.

"You want to know about onee-sama?" it asked.

"Onee-sama?" Lee asked.

"This is Kindergartener D, Student B's little sister," Student X explained.

"Onee-sama was a bad person," Kindergartener D said. "But I have a duty to the family."

"You owe them nothing!" Itachi suddenly burst out. This little girl reminded him of himself slightly. "What have they ever done for you besides put unwanted pressure on you?"

"I.. I don't know…" the kid replied.

"Well, you know, you can trust us," he said. "Can you help us?"

"OK," the little kid replied. "Mister, can you keep a secret?"

To Be Continued!

Omake- Author's Comments

I'm on a writing kick today. I think this is the fastest I've ever typed a chapter… xD

-GoesKaboom


	6. Chapter 6

Exchange Program 3: Graduation

Chapter Six

"Of course I can keep a secret," Itachi replied. "So what is it that you want to tell us?"

"Onee-sama had plans besides taking over the school," Kindergartener D said simply.

"Will you tell us what her plans were?" Kankuro asked, but the little girl shook her head.

"I have a duty to my family," she answered. "I will not betray them."

"Your family may be at the middle of something that could be very dangerous for you," Student X explained. "If your sister was behind this, then everyone in your family could face criminal charges and you'd be put in foster care. Didn't they teach you in school that you have a duty to the citizens of the world as well as to your family? Someone has been kidnapped and your family might be responsible." Kindergartener D started sobbing.

"I-I'm sorry! I know what's going on, but I just don't know who to tell!" she exclaimed. Student Y and Itachi exchanged glances.

"What's happening?" Y asked kindly.

"Onee-sama had plans… evil plans! I know what's going on! Come on, I want to help! Follow me!" the child answered. Everyone followed her in the back door and up to a large room that just screamed "Student B".

"Yuck, I didn't know that they made sparkly pink carpets," Naruto noted, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

"Is it just me or does this room smell like sickly sweet feet?" Zetsu asked.

"It's onee-sama's favorite perfume," Kindergartener D replied. "Pink Shoes."

"Well, they certainly got the shoes part right," Lee said, holding his nose.

"We're not here to complain about weird smells," Itachi said. "Let's figure out what Student B was planning and get on with it." Kindergartener D walked to a drawer and pulled a small gold key on a chain from around her neck and fit it into the lock. Once the drawer was open, she took out a large orange notebook.

"The Plans of the Princess Student B," Ino read.

"Real classy," Sasuke said. Student Y opened it.

"Holy shi- I mean, shoot," she said, catching her language at the last second. "This is all of her plans!"

"Take over _A. High School, _put weird art teacher in a coma, kill Student Y, kill Student 2400- wait- kill Student 2400?!" Itachi read.

"PUT WEIRD ART TEACHER IN A COMA! THAT BITCH CARRIED OUT HER PLANS-UN!" Deidara shouted, earning a whack upside the head from Tobi. "OW!"

"Watch your language sempai, there are children here!"

"I can't believe they're actually planning to kill her…" Student Z said, shaking her head.

"According to the book the execution was to be carried out the day of graduation," Itachi noticed.

"That's in a week!"

"We have to work quickly," Student Y said. "And something has got to be done about D. We can't just leave her here."

"I know," Sakura said. "She can stay with us in the lair!"

"As long as she'll be safe…"

"Anywhere's better than here. I have a feeling that Employee 12345 is in on this," Lee added. Student Y nodded.

"12345 and B were very close…. I have a feeling that this is going to end badly."

To Be Continued!


	7. Chapter 7

Exchange Program 3: Graduation

Chapter Seven

Not long after our heroes had figured out the plans of Student B, Employee 12345 called her husband. "G? It's time," she said into the phone.

"Time for what?" he replied. "I hope it's time for a coffee break!" 12345 face palmed. Her husband could be quite stupid sometimes.

"No, you idiot, time to make sure our daughter is never forgotten!" she barked into the phone.

"D? Why would anyone forget about D?" Employee G asked, genuinely confused.

" NOT D! B! YOU DUMBASS! HOW COULD YOU FORGET YOUR FIRST-BORN CHILD?!" Employee 12345 yelped.

"But wasn't she kinda… EVIL? Maybe it's good that the world forgot about her," Employee G said.

"You son of a… IT IS YOUR GODDAMN DUTY TO MAKE SURE THAT YOUR DAUGHTER'S PLANS ARE CARRIED OUT!"

"…fine…"

--

"What's going to happen to me?" Kindergartner D asked nervously. "I can't survive on my own!"

"Who said anything about making you survive on your own?" Tenten said. "You'll stay with us in

"You know you've heard the saying that those kids who do WAAAAY too many extracurricular activities practically live in the school?" Naruto added. "That's basically us, except we literally live in the school and we don't do WAAAAY too many extracurricular activities."

"It's actually pretty nice-un," Deidara replied. D didn't look too convinced, but Zetsu sealed the deal.

"Two words, munchkin: VENDING MACHINES."

"With Starburst candy?"

"With Starburst candy."

--

A knock came at the hideout of Student O and his fellow dropouts, scaring them half to death. "Who is it?" O asked, opening the door.

"You might not have seen us before, but I am Employee 12345 and this is my husband, Employee G. We are the parents of the late Student B." Student O's eyes widened.

"Please, come in! We have kidnapped the Student 2400, class valedictorian as well as the diplomas. May I present Student B-sama with a posthumous diploma?" 12345 nodded graciously, but G's eyes were drawn to something else.

"Is that Halo 3?"

"Yeah," Student I replied, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Wanna play?"

"We don't have time for video games," 12345 almost shouted. "We need to kill 2400 and bring my daughter back to life!"

"What do you mean…" O's voice trailed off.

"If we kill this girl, we can revive my daughter!"

To Be Continued!


	8. Chapter 8

Exchange Program 3: Graduation

Chapter Eight

"Are…are you serious?" Student O asked faintly. "I mean… kill her? We just planned to keep her here until after the graduation ceremony was over and then all of us would flee the country… I mean… you really want to kill Student 2400?"

"Yes I do," Employee 12345 said. "My daughter hated the fact that this girl beat her in every test and wanted her dead. And now I read on the Internet that spilling the blood of the deceased person's superior will bring back the dead!"

"Bitch are you crazy?!" Student I shrieked. "You're out of your mind! We might be kidnappers and thieves but we're not murderers! And truth be told, your daughter was a BITCH! Most of us only followed her because we were afraid! And the benefits were good…." her voice trailed off. "Find someone else to do your dirty work."

"I have to agree," Student O said. "Please leave this hideout. We have not fallen so far as to kill a random person." Student I nodded, while backing toward Student 2400.

"Listen, here's my cell phone," she whispered. "Send a message to someone, get yourself out of here. I doubt any of us dropouts will be getting out of here alive, you might as well save yourself." 2400 nodded and rapidly fired off a text message to a familiar number.

--

_Bleedleeedleeedle. _Tobi's cell phone buzzed with its "you have a text message" tone. Curious, he picked it up and read it.

2400 here

Am at BBSW. Under attack. Plz help.

"Sempai… read this text message!" he said, running toward Deidara.

"If you're trying to get me to have text sex with you, then it's not going to work!" the annoyed blond ninja said, throwing down the copy of _Explosives Weekly_ he had been reading.

"No! Although that's not a bad idea this has nothing to do with text sex!" Tobi yelled. "I think it's important!"

"Fine," Deidara said, scrolling down to view the message. "Shit! You're not kidding-un!"

"What is it?" Lee asked, hearing the exchange of words.

"Student 2400 just sent a text message… something's wrong. We have to go to the Big Box warehouse again," Tobi explained.

"But there wasn't anything there!"

"Well, something's really wrong and Student 2400's life is in danger-un!" Deidara shouted.

"Get everyone together," Tobi said. "We're going back."

"Going back where?" Hinata asked.

"Big Box. Apparently Mask over there thinks that 2400 is there."

To Be Continued!

Omake-Author's Comments

Gotta take the little opportunities to write… so that's why you get a double-update. Thanks for reading!

-GoesKaboom


	9. Chapter 9

Exchange Program 3: Graduation

Chapter Nine

"Tobi please, I don't want to read your text sex transcripts," Neji sighed.

"NO! IT'S NOT TEXT SEX! IT'S IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT THE LOCATION OF STUDENT 2400!" Tobi shouted. "Why does everyone think that?"

"Well, seeing as it's you, and you've been trying to get in Deidara's pants for as long as I can remember…well… what are we supposed to think?" Itachi said. Student X glared.

"I'm trying to watch _Family Guy_… do you idiots mind?"

"Read this text!" Tobi said.

"Fine… OH SHIT! WHERE THE HELL ARE Y AMD Z?! ALL OF YOU, GET ON THE LAWN MOWERS! THANK YOU TOBI! THIS IS THE FIRST STEP TO RECOVERING MY DIPLOMA!"

"What's all the yelling about?" a tired Student Y sighed, clomping out of her room in fuzzy bunny slippers. "Can't I sleep with out all of you annoying me?"

"What are you doing sleeping at five in the afternoon?" Lee asked. "It's not youthful!"

"I was awake all last night, trying to track Student B's final phone calls."

"That's not the issue here!" Tobi yelped. "We know where 2400 is!"

"Really? "

"Yeah. At Big Box again."

"…"

"That's what I said," Deidara said. "At first I didn't believe it but it really is from 2400, sent from someone called Student I's phone-un."

"Did you say Student I?" Y asked in alarm. "She's a former supporter of Student B, but she's known for being a renegade, she didn't always follow Student B's rules. If she has 2400, then that's a HUGE problem."

"Then, in that case, what are we waiting for?" Naruto asked. "Why are we standing around. If there is a potential crisis on our hands, than why are we just sitting on our asses?"

"TO THE LAWN MOWERS!" Itachi screamed joyfully. He loved those mowers.

--

"So then shall we begin?" Employee 12345 said.

"NO! We will not commit this disgrace!" one dropout said, "Like we've said, find someone else to do your dirty work." Before he knew it, he was lying facedown on the floor, an ornate knife protruding from his back.

"67!" a girl cried in anguish.

"You crazy bitch you killed Student 67! He and Student 53.002 were going to be married this weekend!" Student I screamed, running to console the sobbing 53.002. 12345 just calmly cleaned off her knife.

"He was a complication, and his fiancée can join him in death!" she laughed. "She's next for crying at his death, and I, get out of the way if you know what's good for you."

"Did you text help?" I asked 2400 out of the corner of her mouth. 2400 nodded.

"I hope they got it," she replied, almost silently.

"All we can do now is hope," Student I whispered.

To Be Continued!


	10. Chapter 10

Exchange Program 3: Graduation

Chapter Ten

"12345, please," Employee G said. "Do you really think killing them is going to bring back our daughter?"

"YES!!!" Employee 12345 screeched.

"But why would you want to bring her back?" G asked. "I mean, if I remember right, the only times she ever talked to me was when she wanted something or she maxed out her credit card. Or she was pissed at me because I wouldn't buy her that rare Louis Vuitton bag that they only made ten of. Hot damn, that bag cost as much as six months' salary!" 12345 snorted and shook her head in disgust at her husband.

"Do you not know anything? My child is dead! Killed by those infernal exchange teachers and their little friends!"

"But we HAVE another child," G said. "D, in case you can't remember."

"NO! WE WILL DESTROY STUDENT 2400 AND BRING B BACK!"

--

"Are you sure you know where we're going, Tobi?" Hinata asked. "Because this wouldn't be the first time you've steered us wrong."

"I know what I'm doing," he replied, leading the way on his lawn mower. "We'll attack the warehouse, grab Student 2400, take out any resistance, then we haul ass!"

"Well, you seem very confident," Sasuke said,

"Hell, I'd trust Tobi more than you, temee," Naruto replied. "I mean, with you everything is a trap to kill your brother! At least Tobi's only nefarious plot is to get into Deidara's pants!"

"I don't appreciate that-un," Deidara replied.

"Sorry." Eventually, they came upon the warehouse.

"Well, this is it," Tobi said. "Sempai, do you mind breaking down the door?"

"Can I blow it up?"

"Duh."

--

"THIS IS IT!" Employee 12345 screamed as she placed her knife over Student 2400's heart. "IN A MINUTE, B, ARISE FROM THE DEAD!"

"Holy shit," Student O muttered. "I can't believe this is happening. I have to stop it."

"She'll kill you!" Student I whispered.

"I don't care," he mumbled back. "It's my fault for starting this stupid thing anyway. I just wanted to get a job that didn't involve scrubbing toilets at Wal-Mart." Just as Student I was about to respond, there was an explosion.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" 12345 screamed.

"That's right, crazy, we are IN THE HOUSE!" Tobi yelled.

"12345..." Student Y spat. "I should have known you'd do something like this…"

"HEY! THE LAWN SQUAD!" Employee G shouted. "Can I make an appointment for you all to mow my yard?"

To Be Continued!

Omake- Author's Comments

And so the you-know-what hits the fan and the battle begins! Thank you for reading!

-GoesKaboom


	11. Chapter 11

Exchange Program 3: Graduation

Chapter Eleven

"Rrrrgh…" Employee 12345 growled. "Of course you would have to show up and foil my plans! You idiots just never know when to lay off, do you?"

"Hell no," Student X replied. "I kinda want to take advantage of my scholarship."

"Hmm… I killed an entire clan once…" Itachi mused. "Maybe I should annihilate this little 'clan' too."

"DON'T HURT THE DROPOUTS!" a voice screeched from behind them. Student 2400 was struggling against her restraints.

"Uh… they kind of kidnapped you…" Tenten said.

"I know! But they tried to protect me from Employee 12345!" she replied. "Don't hurt them, please! They saved my life, now I attempt to save theirs!"

"Fine," Kakuzu said. "But they'd better pay up for this!"

--

Behind the crowd, Tobi was talking frantically into his cell phone. "Yeah, is this L8? It's Tobi. We need backup. Do you think you and a small group could be at the Bix Box Warehouse in a few minutes?"

"Sure," Student L8 said. "But backup for what?"

"We have a little problem… Student B's mother is completely whack."

"OK." and with that, Tobi snapped his phone shut. In a few minutes, backup would arrive and then this stupid plot would be history. Or so he hoped.

--

"I just don't get it," Employee 12345 said. "I just don't understand why my daughter's legacy cannot be finished! She died too young, and I blame you people for it!"

"You forget: it's personal with her," Deidara said. "Crazy bitch stabbed me and put me in a coma! And then she tried to use me as an incentive! I'm not hers to give-un!"

"Yeah, and she tried to kill me!" Student Z said.

"SHE LIED TO MY FACE!" Tobi yelled. "SHE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF MY PURE LOVE FOR DEIDARA-SEMPAI AND TRIED TO MAKE ME DO HER DIRTY WORK!" And with that, he blindly launched a kunai at the crazed employee, cutting off a chunk of hair.

"MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!" she shrieked. "YOU RUINED IT! I JUST SPENT $600 GETTING IT BLEACHED!"

"I think it's an improvement," Deidara whispered sideways to Ino. "It was freakin' ugly, trying to pretend that she has our hair color."

"I know, really," Ino agreed.

"Dear, please calm down," Employee G tried to console his wife. "It could be worse. Maybe now you'll take my advice and get a sensible haircut!"

"Don't you start with me," Employee 12345 snarled in response. "You will not win. I'll stab you too if you keep it up!"

"Actually, I'm not sure if this is the right time to bring this up," G mumbled. "But I filed for divorce."

"YOU WHAT?!"

"Yeah… and I'm taking custody of D. She doesn't need to be in an environment with a crazy bitch like you. I don't want her turning into B. I don't need the shame of another daughter like that. Plus, Employee 83 from my work, well, we're planning to get married as soon as the divorce is final."

"WHOO! YOU GO G!" a group of dropouts cheered.

"You know what?" Hidan said. "I'll even perform the wedding ceremony!"

"I can't believe you, you bastard," Employee 12345 whispered. "I hate you."

To Be Continued!


	12. Chapter 12

Exchange Program 3: Graduation

Chapter Twelve

"Congratulations, G!" everyone said.

"Does your fiancée have a wedding dress?" Sakura asked. "Because she can use my mother's dress."

"Just call us to provide the flowers!" Ino chirped.

"In our lair we have a very nice indoor garden with enough room to hold quite a large number of guests… maybe you'd like to have the ceremony in there?" Kisame suggested. Then, turning to the students, he said, "You could also have your graduation ceremony there."

"That sounds great!" Student Z replied.

"DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME ASSHOLES!" a voice screamed.

"Oh, hello 12345," Deidara said.

"Well, I guess it's time," Student Y sighed.

"Do you really intend to fight me?" Employee 12345 asked.

"Uh… lemme think…" Student X said. "YEAH!"

"Well, foolish teenager, it's your funeral," she said darkly.

"I DON'T THINK SO!" a voice yelled as door slid open.

"YOU CAME!" Tobi cried happily.

"You think I'd miss this?" Student L8 replied. "And I brought backup, like you said."

"Mother?" a soft voice asked. Kindergartener D stepped forward.

"I thought I told you to stay at home," Student Y said. "It is not safe here. A fight may break out and now that you're here, you might be stuck in the crossfire," she added.

"I don't care," the child replied. "Mother, why are you doing this?" Employee 12345 glared at her with contempt.

"You are not your sister," she spat. "Your sister had the potential to bring the world to its knees and instate us as the powerful ruling family. You have shown no potential, not doing anything that will bring us into power! You are not necessary. Get out of my sight." Kindergartener D's lower lip trembled.

"Listen, I don't know who you think you are, but you disgust me," Itachi said as he went to comfort D. "It's because of people like you that I killed my whole family. Except for that nooblet over there," he added, pointing to Sasuke. "And that's why I will not allow you to get away with this."

"Big words from someone such as yourself," Employee 12345 retorted.

L8 asked, "Are we going to fight or what?"

"YEAH!" the group of students that she had brought with her yelled.

"Oh, we're going to fight," Student Y smirked. "Let's get this show on the road."

To Be Continued!


	13. Chapter 13

Exchange Program 3: Graduation

Chapter Thirteen

"I am giving you one chance to take back everything you said to me," Employee 12345 said in a cold, deadly voice. "Maybe then I will not kill you."

"You are so arrogant," Deidara replied. "You actually believe that we will take back the truth-un!?"

"Then you have just signed your death warrant," she spat.

"Bring it on!" Student L8 shrieked.

"Oh, I will," Employee 12345 said as she picked up her knife and lunged forward.

"Huh… I wanted to end this peacefully, fighting is so troublesome," Shikamaru said, before using his shadow-possession jutsu on 12345.

"!?" was her response.

"Nice, Shikamaru!" Ino replied.

"Make her do the Chicken Dance!" Tobi exclaimed, ending up with an angry horde glaring at him.

"Can't you think of anything better?" Neji sighed.

"Stupid nooblet," Itachi replied.

"DEIDARA! BLAST HER ALREADY! I'm tired!" Shikamaru yelled.

"Right!" Deidara said happily, bounding forward with explosives and a smile.

"You really think this blonde kid is going to kill me?" Employee 12345 asked. "He looks weak. My B could have destroyed him with one punch."

"Uh oh…" Zetsu said.

"Everyone may want to take cover," Itachi said, ducking under a table.

"YOUR STUPID DAUGHTER WAS A BITCH WHO PUT ME IN A COMA!" Deidara shrieked. "IT IS A GOOD THING THAT THAT UGLY WHORE IS DEAD! AND NOW I'LL DESTROY YOU FOR SAYING SUCH THINGS ABOUT ME! AND ATTACKING MY FRIENDS! I'LL KILL YOU-UN!"

"Whoo! You go Deidara!" Students X, Y, and Z yelled in unison.

"Kick her ass, Sempai!" Tobi added adoringly.

"Pass the popcorn, G," Student L8 said.

"Wait- back up!" Employee 12345 gasped. "NOOOO!"

"BOOM! YAY!" Deidara shrieked as he made the hand signs for his jutsu. "Katsu!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Employee 12345 screamed as the bomb exploded. Once it was over, Shikamaru released the shadow-possession jutsu and sat down on the couch.

"Pass me the game controller," he said.

--

"Wow… that took way too long," Itachi sighed. "It should have only taken a few hours."

"My mother… she's dead. Where will I go now?" Kindergartener D asked.

"Don't worry, you'll live with me!" Employee G replied. "Why wouldn't you?"

"What about graduation?" Student X asked.

"We'll still have it!" Student L8 said.

"I know!" Zetsu said. "We can have the ceremony in our gardens at the lair, and then afterwards Hidan will perform G's marriage!"

"Yeah!" Itachi agreed.

"Let's go! Tomorrow is the day that graduation was supposed to be performed!" Student X yelled. "And I intend to take advantage of my scholarship!"

To Be Continued!


	14. Chapter 14

Exchange Program 3: Graduation

Chapter Fourteen

It took quite a bit of work, but before long the entire student body of _A. High School _had made it to the Akatsuki garden. "Someone hit the CD player!" Hidan yelled as the students filed into the yard. Deidara obliged, and before long "Pomp and Circumstance" was blasting from the speakers.

"It's so beautiful… I thought this day would never come…" Student X sobbed into a handkerchief he had tucked into his graduation robe. Student Y sighed.

"Yeah… it's nice to know that I will actually be able to go to university…" she said. Student Z looked happily around the surroundings.

"NO MORE HIGH SCHOOL! WHOOO!"

Before long it was time for Student 2400's speech. "As many of you know, recently I was kidnapped by a group of dropouts attempting to make a better life for themselves, and this graduation almost didn't happen. But I urge you not to blame them. They were still suffering from the bad influence of a crappy leader. You all know her as the late Student B." At this there was an angry hiss from the crowd. But 2400 moved on. "Student B had made it almost impossible for these poor dropouts to get a job that did not involve scrubbing toilets or stocking shelves at Wal-Mart, and they planned to steal the diplomas to create false identity and get a better job."  
"That's horrible!" a parent in the audience gasped.

"But do not blame them. When Student B's mother, the late Employee 12345 attempted to end my life in a weird ritual to bring her daughter back from the dead, the dropouts and the substitutes saved my life. So in this day, I would like to say that I have gotten permission from the school board for the dropouts to go back to school and finish their education if they so wish." At this statement, a horde of the same stood up and cheered.

"YOU ROCK, 2400!" Student O yelled.

"Now, let's get this show on the road!" 2400 yelled.

It took a few hours, but finally the graduation ceremony ended. Everyone had their diplomas, and none of the graduates could be considered a high school student. "PARTY TIME!" Student Y yelled.

"No, Y. Remember, there's something else that has to happen?" Itachi said, gently tapping her on the shoulder.

"Oh, right! The wedding!"

To Be Continued!


	15. Chapter 15

Exchange Program 3: Graduation

Chapter Fifteen

"THE CD PLAYER! THE CD PLAYER! HIT THE CD PLAYER!" Deidara yelled. "EMPLOYEE 83 IS GOING TO BE WALKING DOWN THE AISLE ANY MINUTE!!!"

"OK, Ok, sheesh," Zetsu said before switching the track on the CD to "Here Comes the Bride." Kindergartener D scattered flower petals around the carpet leading to the platform where Hidan stood. Employee G stood there and waited for his fiancée. Then, to the admiring sounds of the audience, Employee 83 walked into the garden.

"She's so pretty," Sakura said, slightly jealously.

"She looks like she'd be a much better parent for Kindergartener D," Shikamaru replied.

"SHE LOOKS YOUTHFUL!" Lee yelled.

"Ssssh!" everyone shushed him.

"Do you, Employee G, take this Employee 83 to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Hidan asked.

"I do," Employee G replied.

"Do you, Employee 83, take this Employee G to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Hidan asked.

"I do," Employee 83 responded. Hidan took out his scythe and impaled himself, while the people gathered screamed.

"What- have you fuckers never seen a Jashinist wedding before?" Hidan said angrily, the scythe sticking out of his chest. The crowd blinked, and even the bride and groom looked slightly alarmed. "It's Ok. Really." Hidan reassured everyone, as his blood dripped onto the platform. "I now pronounce the two people gathered here husband and wife. Now get the fuck out of here so they can have the honeymoon." The crowd stood and thundered toward the exit.

"Was that guy really a priest?" someone said. Ino face palmed/

"Did he have to SWEAR at a WEDDING?!" she asked.

"It's Hidan. What did you expect?" Kakuzu asked.

"Hehehe… if I get married I want my wedding to be like that!" Student Z said.

"What- you want the priest to stab himself in a way that would kill a normal human being and curse out your guests?"

"Oh well…"

--

"It's time to send those ninja back to their world and close off the portal for good," Orochimaru giggled evilly. "Our work here is done. I now know what I wished to learn."

"Of course, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto replied. "But if you don't mind me asking, why did you send the others to the student's world? What were you trying to prove?"

"Oh, I just wanted to see how these ninjas would act under pressure… Now I have the perfect idea for my newest diabolical plan!"

"But then why didn't you bring the students here in the first place?" Kabuto asked.

"I never brought the students here, it was all the other's doing. Although I must say that it served my purpose quite well... kukukuku... I was able to recruit a new follower!" Orochimaru said. "Student O!"

"Oh, I get it," Kabuto said, even though he didn't really get it. But he knew he would follow his leader's orders.

--

A warm breeze blew around the ninjas. "Huh… it seems like Hawaii out here…" Hinata said, a goofy grin on her face.

"Yeah… it's nice…" Itachi agreed. Suddenly, there was a sparkly glitter dust that settled around them.

"Why do I feel like I'm in an episode of The Pretty Pretty Ponies Glitter Show?" Hidan asked. Suddenly, there was a whooshing sound and they were standing on their own soil.

"What happened?" Temari asked.

"I think we're home," Kankuro replied.

--

"What happened?" Student L8 asked.

"Where did they go?" Employee 83 asked.

"Oh well. Wherever they are, I'm sure they are living out their lives well. We will go on to college, and the newlyweds will be making their new home," Student Y replied.

--

Four Years Later

"Hey! Check it out!" Tobi yelled one day. "College graduation notices for X, Y, Z, and L8!" There was a picture of them standing outside of the school in their graduation robes.

--

"Look what I got!" Naruto yelled. "Graduation photos of the students!"

"Cool!" Gaara replied, looking at the picture.

--

Three days later, the Akatsuki got another card. "AWWWWWW!" Deidara yelled. "SO CUTE-UN!"

"What?" Itachi asked, running into the room.

"G and 83 had a kid!" Deidara replied. "His name is Baby H!"

"Aww…" Itachi agreed.

--

The Konoha and Suna ninja also got the card.

"I'm so happy for them!" Hinata yelled. "How cute!"

"He's adorable!" Neji agreed. "What's his name?"

"Baby H."

"Aw.." Gaara said.

"It seems like everyone's life is going quite well," Kankuro added.

OWARI

Omake- Author's Comments

Well, this is it. The Exchange Program trilogy is over. Thank you very much to everyone who supported it all the way through! You all are awesome:D

I know the ending was kind of lame… sorry.

EDIT AGAIN: I didn't fix the errors until now. --

-GoesKaboom


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